It's not a time issue, It's a priority issue

     A few years ago I was ending a first date and as the gentleman walked me to my car he said, "we should do this again". My response..."sure if we can find the time". To which he replied "well you make time for what is a priority". We never went out again.

     It had taken us 3 weeks to schedule this date because we both had seemingly very busy schedules. He worked full-time and was a budding photographer and DJ. Me, I worked 2 jobs averaging 50 - 60 hours a week. It took quite a bit to coordinate our schedules for this first date...at the movies.

     Forget that he suggested a first date at the movies then wanted to be a priority in my life. Let's pretend this was a reasonable request. What he didn't know and I failed to realize was him being a priority was irrelevant.  The real issue was that dating was not a priority for me. I worked two jobs because I needed the money to pay bills and travel. Those were my priorities. Also, after spending 5 years in a relationship that almost broke me in the end, I was top priority.

He in fact was not a priority. Why should he be? If I had not found time to make dating a priority, I certainly wasn't prepared to make a person a priority. What was a priority? Reestablishing myself, Learning myself, Loving myself, Building a network, sista circle and Making friends.

Maybe if he had considered my priorities and got in where he fit in, made an effort to continue to get to know me things would have ended differently. Or maybe, just maybe if he hadn't chosen the movies as a first date. Or maybe there was nothing he could do because him and dating was not a priority.

This isn't simply relevant with dating. Consider your work environment. What things aren't you pleased with?  Is it possible that your priorities and the priorities of the decision makers are different? I realized how much this comes in to play at my last job. I was hard pressed to finish my hours for my LPC licensure. That was not the priority of my Supervisor and thus friction ensued.

Another time I saw this in action was when I was a senior in high school. All I wanted was out of my parents house. My mother was determined I go to college. She wanted college, I wanted Beauty School. Friction ensued. The next time you find yourself wondering about something that isn't going your way, take self out of the picture and consider the priorities in place. Sometimes people don't have time for the things you want because your priorities and their priorities are not aligned.